Some Things That Will Be Weird When I Go Home

Originally, I was going to leave my ICU reflective assignment post as the last one, as a way of smoothly transitions to a close. But, this has happened two nights now, and I find it amusing.

 

Jess, Maia and I went to the Sunday night market last week, and there happened to be a lot of farang men. I turned to Maia and asked her "Why are all these tall farang people around?" and again, yesterday night, Maia and I went the market near carrefour, simply because it was the last time we could go, and there was a group of American men standing in the middle of the foot traffic. Again, I looked at Maia and said "Seriously, White men, they're really really tall." Now that I think about it they were probably of average height. All in the 5'10- 6'2" range.

Which got me thinking about some things that I am already anticipating being weird when I go home:

Not being of average, female height. In particular, standing next to my friend Sam, who we all affectionately call "Smashy" due to his intensely large height, will be be extremely unsettling. 

Grocery stores. When we go to Carrefour to get groceries they put the dairy food next to the isle that is farang food and I can't imagine an entire store being composed of the things in these isles alone. 

Going home to summer after experiencing Thai summer.

Lack of uniform. As uncomfortable as they are, uniforms make my waking up process go faster. 

Being able to fully understand the conversations that are going on around me.

Not being able to drink this strange tea from seven-eleven, which I have found myself addicted to

A campus I know like the back of my hand. After about 24 hours with my parents, I'll go back to Sarah Lawrence to see half my friends graduate, and remembering what its like to be on that campus.

Going home to my dog, and walking by other dogs with out wondering "Does that one look like it might bite me, or  like it wants me to pet it?"

Not constantly worrying if I am staying hydrated, which probably means I am more likely to become dehydrated. 

Leaving Thailand, yet still eating Thai food. Luckily, my parents house has a full stock of dehydrated "Mama noodles" in the basement. Not to mention my mothers home cooking. Even if its not a Thai dish she's cooking there is still something Thai in the flavoring. 

Knowing EXACTLY where I am going. Not just having a vague idea about how to get there, and some how succeeding in getting there.

Driving. Driving on the right hand side of the road. I-I think I want to wait a day or two before I hop back in the driver's side of a car.  

When people ask "How was your trip?" figuring out exactly what to say. 

There are more things, I am sure. But those are the ones that immediately come to mind. They aren't meant to be particularly good or bad. Just things that will feel strangely familiar, yet different...

Highlights of my stay in Thailand : In pictures con't

Silly baby in Nan

Allie came to visit

Markets, In general (This is Warorot)

Bangkok

The Zoo

Highlights of my stay in Thailand : In pictures

Beautiful fabrics--> all hand made

Elephant show with Ploy Ginny and Ploy's family

Chiang Mai Flower Festival

Muay Thai

Mae Chaem

ICU: Reflective Blog

1. Refer back to your post regarding you arrival expectations of your study abroad experience in Thailand. Have they been realized are they realistic or not? Do you feel you met your goals?

I set my expectations relatively low, but not with out reason. I did not want to put anything on the semester that, if it did not happen, I would be disappointed. I can say that I can efficiently navigate the old city, but outside the gate I can get a little turned around. However, when your only mode of transportation is a Song Tao or Tuktuk, it is hard to orient yourself. The most helpful day was when Dr. Jenjit took my out in her car and drove me around the city and pointed out landmarks. 

As for my other goal, well, that is less successful. I realized within a two weeks of being here that somehow, my brain still retained the memories of how to read and write basic Thai. This became useful when I started to learn the vocabulary for what I was reading, however, I know that I still spoke better Thai (in terms of pronunciation and vocabulary) when I was younger. Than again, when I was younger, the vocabulary that I knew surrounded modes of transport, and reading basic stories from a children's book.  So while I know that I cannot hold a conversation with me mother, or her friends, I feel as though I could make my point to my brother as we both spoke broken, poorly worded Thai. And frankly, that will still be a help. 

2. What is the greatest learning outcome you have come away with from this experience?

In terms of cultural adjustment, I had to make myself a blank slate. Any preconceptions I had abut Thailand and Thai culture had to be erased so I could fully take in what I was seeing, feeling and experiencing around me in day to day life. It is hard to convince yourself that you know nothing, especially when you are so convinced that you do, however, I feel like it is well worth it. It makes learning about other cultures easier, and I feel as though I was more receptive and aware after doing so.

3. During the next phase, re-entry, how do you intend to continue maximizing your study abroad experiences once you are back in your home country? 

One of my main reasons for coming to Thailand  was the language. I hate the question "Oh, your half Thai? You speak Thai than right?" Not fun. Its a question that always gets asked with such enthusiasm and one that always gets answered with embarrassment. For me, continuing to study the Thai language will help me stay connected to Thailand in general.

4. Of all you have experienced this semester what lessons have you learned or thing have you experienced that you never want to forget?

The other night, we went out for Seashia's birthday, in front of a stand that advertised Turkish coffee Nick started a conversation with a man, who was saying, what I found to be, ignorant farang judgments made by not understanding what he was seeing around him. I was outraged, but kept my mouth shut and listened hoping I would begin to understand where his insights were coming from. I didn't although at one point I agreed with one thing he said, but I would not say it in the way he did, because I would never say it out loud. I was looking at the few other Thai Studies  people around me, and none of their faces showed any agreement, but no disagreement either. I began to wonder if I was upset on a personal level, or if it was just that I perceived his statements to be highly inaccurate. when I began to realize that I was taking it personally, as he was specifically attacking the generation of my mother and that above her (aka, the generation of the family I still have here) there was a part of me that felt silly, because I would say I am fully American, but the other part of me wanted to tell him to stop talking and/or slap him... preferably in the face. The point of this story is that although I never feel Thai, I know that I have internalized that its half of me, and my mother did raise me with the culture, I was just unaware of it when she would throw something Thai in there. I know that a lot of my blog has been about being half-Thai but the truth of the matter is I never really thought about it. In the states its kind of a novelty to be half something, but for some it doesn't matter after that. But I want it to. And I want to remember that, that is the way I want it, and that I want the culture here to be part of my identity.